BewleyTherapy.com

      Two years ago tomorrow, on 17th June, my father’s spirit left his body.   In the big scheme of things, two years seems like a very short time.   At midnight on the eve of my brother’s birthday, my aunt called to let me know dad had been taken to hospital.   Dad being dad, he was kind enough to my brother to wait until the following day, Father’s Day, to finally close his eyes forever. When I arrived at his hospital bed, I whispered in his ear sweet words of a daughter’s love.   During the following thirty minutes after he took his last breath, I kept encouraging his spirit to “find the light” and “go and run up those stairs to enjoy your time in Heaven.”   He had earned it.   He had done the very best any father could have done for his children.   He even saved us from the authorities when they were threatening to take us away and have us put in a children’s home.   I said “Your love has protected us, you...

As a psychotherapist, I was sad at how people's memories declined as they grew older and wanted to learn how to help them deal with the anxieties associated with the loss of the life they used to have.  In particular, I wanted to assist the 'bystanders' who were witnessing their loved one's slow decline into death's embrace.    What I've learned to teach people, is how to calm their anxious feelings about their mind aging, and one key is to become aware of the biological fact that memory is not one single thing .  There are many ways to look at it, but there are only two main sections.    Section 1 includes: 'long-term memory' (technically, these are 'episodic', 'semantic' and 'procedural' memory).    Section 2 includes our 'working memory' (a doctor will use the words 'visual-spatial sketchpad' and 'phonological loop').    So, when someone says that our memory fails with age,...

When something goes wrong on a building site, we usually say it was done by 'a bunch of cowboys' .  However, I can't see any aspect of society that hasn't been touched by the effect of a Hollywood cowboy film.  Almost everyone I speak to remembers Clint Eastwood's line "Do you feel lucky?" or John Wayne's "A man's got to do what a man's got to do” and Shane's forlorn farewell was so heart-breaking to witness I balled my eyes out. These memorable images of brave men riding off out into the sunset, never knowing if they would return back to the home fires, inspire some kind of strength with their true grit, honest family loyalty and the will to do the right thing.  As kids, we've played the games and, Clint and Co. have often inspired us to want to be one.  But how many of us have actually done it?   Of course, we may have booked a holiday on a ranch and had the experience of a lifetime, but for it to become...

It’s a beautiful sunny Sunday morning and I’m listening to Dire Straights ‘Going Home’.   I look up to see the crystal hanging in my window and see it winking a clear green brilliant light straight into my eyes.   It showers me with beautiful rainbow light and there’s peace in my heart. I remember a few years ago things were completely different.   Filled with mixed emotions there was a knowingness tinged with a reluctant sorrow.   Why reluctant?   Because I had begun to discover what my role was to be in life.   As a result, I made a reluctant decision.   The reluctance came from not wishing to feel sad anymore. Over the years, I have never been one to build myself a treasure chest of ‘bottom drawer’ stuff for a time when I would eventually meet the man I was to marry.   Basically, because I never thought I would.   Instead, I had been building up a collection of books.   Certain types of books, that I had chosen to give aw...

Have you ever tried meditation?  Saying one word for 20 minutes, 2 times a day ...  Arooshima.  Arooshima.  Arooshmia.   It's worse than running up heartbreak hill with a 20lb pack on your back (like a soldier training for war).  I'm well informed on the subject of mindfulness, but teaching the method to others is a little bit like climbing up that hill.  'You have to accept the words and let them go'. "Let them go?  How?" Focus on the word.  Arooshima.  Arooshima.  Arooshima. When other words interrupt, accept them, then bring your mind back to the word, Arooshima.  What goes on in your mind?  Does it chatter non-stop?  Can you make sense of what you're thinking?  Does it even matter what's in your mind? Focus on the word.  Arooshima.  Arooshima.  Arooshima. One day, I decided to tape the words in my mind (no, I haven't invented a mind-reading machine, but I'm assured neurosci...

  What does that mean?   When people say it’s ‘within’ you … or you have to change ‘within’.   Some of us go away with a message that makes no sense at all and so we go about our daily business and forget the message.   However, the message gets a little clearer when others give examples of what it really means to ‘go within’ to find what life is all about and, more importantly, what we’re supposed to do with it.   Two men, in particular, can show us what that means.   Mandela and Frankel.   For an answer, we must first ask: “What is the one big lesson that men like Nelson Mandela can teach us?”   Even though we must not forget the fact that he did at one time in his life, end others lives, humanity is left with a gift that we can all learn from.   When Mandela came out of prison, after spending all those long years in one horribly secure place for his crimes against humanity, he wasn’t bitter nor was he angry.   He did...