As a psychotherapist, I was sad at how people's memories declined as they grew older and wanted to learn how to help them deal with the anxieties associated with the loss of the life they used to have. In particular, I wanted to assist the 'bystanders' who were witnessing their loved one's slow decline into death's embrace.
What I've learned to teach people, is how to calm their anxious feelings about their mind aging, and one key is to become aware of the biological fact that memory is not one single thing. There are many ways to look at it, but there are only two main sections.
Section 1 includes: 'long-term memory' (technically, these are 'episodic', 'semantic' and 'procedural' memory).
Section 2 includes our 'working memory' (a doctor will use the words 'visual-spatial sketchpad' and 'phonological loop').
So, when someone says that our memory fails with age, there are many ways of looking at it and it's important to note that research has found semantic and procedural (long-term) memory seems to gain new information as we age - especially if we look after our bodies. But it's episodic (also long-term) memory that seems to fail as we age between the 50s and 60s. If you're around this age, you probably have stopped yourself, thinking, "Why can't I remember his name? He's only just told me it!" or we tell a joke many times over, because we think it's so damned funny - while everyone around us is yawning!
However, there are also physical and cognitive cycles to become aware of.
If you are past the age of 50, do you get the feeling that you're energetic in the morning and so bloody tired during the early evening and, for the life of you, you can't understand why? You probably remember a time when you were a teenager and liked to go to bed very late and wake when everyone was having lunch. These cycles change as we age. Therefore, an older person's most energetic time of the day may be during the morning and mid-day while a youngster may be just perking up their energy reserves when you're getting ready for bed. So, the good news is that it's not a decline in memory, or anything to be afraid of, it's just a transition that the body and mind are going through. A change to the way we think about the world.
The way our brains change is that they become less 'left-brained' (where logical particular details are important - scientists and accountants tend to be in this bracket) and more 'right-brained' (where we become creative scanners of the environment - actors and artists are typical of this bracket). So, there seems to come a time in life when remembering someone's name is not so terribly important. However, the meanings behind what we remember is, which is why older people love to tell stories from their youth.
There are some enjoyable ways to keep our brains working hard. Crossword puzzles and mental games like chess are great to keep the semantic (long-term) memory going. If you are hoping to keep your working memory aspects going strong, then you need to develop your creative instinct - painting, photography, dancing, writing. Taking up a dancing class not only helps you to exercise, it also forces you to remember the steps - the body and mind move.
The key is to expose yourself to learning something new everyday - and then to keep repeating those things you have learned. This has been found to help you through the transition to older aging.
There are some big worries that people anticipate as they grow older. One is the threat of Alzheimer's and the other is fearing a stroke.
I've known lots of people who have suffered with Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a heart-breaking disease of the brain that is sadly known as the 'long goodbye'. Those of us who watch from the side-lines, witness the once vibrant, interesting, person we love wither and disappear from our lives until their death is painfully arrived at.
But, if you know that there stages to it, you can at least prepare yourself and your loved one, as you are going through it. The most anxiety releasing task is to acknowledge it and go with it, rather than resist it. To do this, it is helpful to understand the basic signs, or stages, that need to become aware of and knowing these help you to adjust yourself to each phase as they merge into your life.
The first signs are the memory losses that doctors call 'mild cognitive impairment'. Those who experience this think they are losing their memories and tend to become anxious that something is happening to them they cannot explain. In the beginning, it's the new things that we learn in life that cannot be easily remembered. People who go through this feel stupid or embarrassed because they cannot remember who they are talking to (while they are talking to them), or where they are going (while they have set out with a destination in mind), or even how to finish the sentence (that they have only just begun). This can progress to almost complete memory loss.
Once a doctor makes an Alzheimer's diagnosis, the disease progresses over a period of between 7 and 14 years. The person going through this can feel anger and experience frustration at having their life taken away from them and they are also confused because they cannot understand what is going on. These emotions become more pronounced as Alzheimer's progresses and spontaneous tearful outbursts seem to transform the person you thought you knew.
At present there are no known 'cures' to Alzheimer's but there are documented risk factors and possible reasons as to why it happens - with age being just one on that long list. Apparently a 'plaque' like substance forms on certain sections of the brain (the memory stores). Contributors to this are found to include a high fat diet and smoking, head injury and depression, diabetes and hypertension. If you are going through this, or know someone who is, it's good to learn how to cope with it without feeling anxious.
Stroke is an entirely different experience and it may help to understand the differences.
When I had more time on my hands, I volunteered as a Befriender for older people in my local area. There, I was assigned to an elegant lady, Moira, who suffered Aphasia and during our time together we both got to know Tommy, who experienced Hemiparesis. These are just two types of stroke that can affect us.
Aphasia affects the way we communicate - seeing words, reading, writing and speaking, whereas Hemiparesis weakens the muscles on one side of the body.
Both Moira and Tommy were so terribly unhappy when I met them, but we managed to work a way through their frustrations and found ways to give them back more control over their own lives, by learning different ways of handling things.
You don't have to be an older adult to suffer a stroke. However, this doesn't stop lots of people fearing getting one as they get older. Stroke is another aspect to the brain being unable to perform the way we want it to. It's frustrating and can lead a person experiencing it to express anger and helplessness.
A stroke is basically a 'brain attack', like a heart attack. It happens when the flow of blood is stopped because of a rupture in the main arteries that feed the brain. There's two different types of stroke; a 'bleed in the brain' or a 'blocked artery'.
Put simply, a person who suffers a stroke may experience difficulty talking, reading and listening (like Moira) while others may find problems with moving their body parts the way they want to (like Tommy). This is because different parts of your brain deal with different aspects of life and your interaction with it. The type of effect the stroke has upon you, depends which area of your brain is not getting the blood supply. It is difficult to witness someone going through this, and it is good to be able to know how to cope with these changes in life.
There are new ways of viewing what aging does to our minds and the way to handle it. Right now, the definition for what constitutes 'old' is a blend of aspects because some people are lucky enough to extend their 'youthful' vigour until very late in life (aka Joan Collins, who is 81 years young and still living life to the max!). The longevity of people is being pushed to outstanding boundaries, with people in their 100th year running marathons!
Our ability to remember our past, plan our future yet still enjoy the present, may indeed be as a result of our willingness to contribute to and participate in life and our understanding of new ways of living life.
Kaye Bewley © 2014
www.BewleyTherapy.com
